Every time your heart is broken, a doorway cracks open to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities.” ~Patti Roberts (The Angels Are Here)
“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.” ~Oscar Wilde
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.” ~Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
“Hell is so beautiful that it would torment an angel to insanity.” ~William Blake
“Bad habits are easier to abandon today than tomorrow.” ~Yiddish Proverb
“What we wait around a lifetime for with one person, we can find in a moment with someone else.” ~Stephanie Klein
“All great lovers are articulate, and verbal seduction is the surest road to actual seduction.” ~Marya Mannes
“Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality; it’s part of the sizzle.” ~Camille Paglia
Enthusiasm equals life. You feel it when you look at a small child who’s running around and laughing, or when you play with your dog. When we get excited we feel alive and apart from enthusiasm being the strongest motivational power in the world to get things done, we also just want to be happy in the here and now.
People have different ideas and plans in what they want to achieve for themselves, but we all pursue them for the same reasons: We want to feel good. We believe that when we reach a certain goal we’ll feel content and fulfilled, but this is not the case. Rather it will be a slight disappointment because the goal is achieved, yet nothing really changed.
The nature of goals
This is something that came to my mind as I was reading about the philosophy of having no goals. The idea behind it is that setting goals and achieving them creates more stress than happiness and that we don’t need to set goals in order to be productive. The reason why is because enthusiasm alone is the biggest driving force behind success and achievement and is a much stronger source of motivation than having a deadline or a goal on your to-do list.
This makes sense. I myself for example don’t get excited about things because they happen to be on my list of goals, but because I love doing them! The same applies to things I’d rather not do. Just because those things are on my list doesn’t mean I get more excited about them, but rather it becomes a source of stress and frustration. Instead of forcing yourself to do something you dislike, it’s also possible to rearrange your mental programming so that you can get excited about those things.
Pleasure and pain
What we like or dislike is not something that’s set in stone from the moment we’re born, but it’s something that’s programmed into our system in accordance with our experiences. Human beings are driven by the desire for pleasure and the aversion towards pain. What is pleasurable or painful is not a matter of fact, but a matter of perception.
Those who are into advertising know all about changing perception by linking pleasure to whatever they want you to buy. Because these processes usually happen on a subconscious level we’re not even aware of the huge amount of influence commercials have on us. So why wouldn’t we use this science to condition ourselves in a way that is beneficial to us?
What I’m talking about is basically NLP and it’s a very practical method for reprogramming self-limiting attitudes and systems of belief by changing the parameters and values of pleasure and pain. We will get motivated as soon as we link pleasure rather than pain to doing something that we didn’t feel so excited about before.
The supreme state of being
But to me that’s not enough. As far as pragmatism goes my mind also needs philosophical nourishment. I want to go beyond pleasure and pain and see what really drives me. The pleasure of getting a certain result is one thing, but the enthusiasm in the moment itself for doing what you love makes the result irrelevant. It is that feeling which everyone is trying to pursue as they set their goals and imagine their future achievements.
The illusion is that fulfilment is waiting for us in the future. Life happens in the present moment only and that’s why they say there is no way to happiness, but that happiness is the way. It is the passion itself that makes life worth living, because it’s in that state that we really feel alive. The proof that results and achievements don’t equal happiness can be deducted from the fact that there are many successful people who don’t feel fulfilled and happy.
In the end I believe happiness in itself is the biggest success of life and that it’s impossible to go wrong when you feel excited and enthusiastic about the things you do. The best thing is that apart from personal fulfilment it also creates a wave of upliftment that affects the people around you. Everybody likes to be around those who feel good, because it makes them feel good as well.
Be a good person
Our biggest desire is to be in that state of happiness, fulfilment, excitement and passion. I believe that is what life is all about, because it can only be lived in the here and now. Enthusiasm is something as profoundly beautiful as a blossoming flower and should be treated with care and love.
I find it really awful when people bash in each other’s enthusiasm and excitement. Would you ever do that to your child? I don’t suppose anyone would. At the very least nobody wants to be part of those who do. There’s definitely something to be said about a realistic approach, but that doesn’t mean that there is no space to let an idea grow into something that we can work with.
When we’re supportive then not only will beautiful ideas grow into realities, but also we will nourish the enthusiasm and passion that will blossom within ourselves and others to create even more beautiful things and live a fulfilling life. It becomes a productive cycle of happiness that other people will want to contribute to.
Not so long ago I was reading the book titled Mastering your Hidden Self by Serge Kahili King. It’s a book about the ancient Huna philosophy regarding the different aspects of human existence to learn about ourselves and experience ourselves completely by establishing harmony. I promised to write a review to share some interesting insights that I picked up along the way so perhaps you’ll feel inspired to check out the book for yourself.
I remember hearing about the book while I was listening to an audio book. It was only mentioned very briefly, but I immediately knew it was something I needed to check out and so I did. The same day I ordered it and when it got to my mailbox I immediately started reading. The simple and pragmatic approach to human psychology appealed to me and it was also more complete than any other kind of psychological paradigm I have ever studied. I suppose this is also because the teachings aren’t dogmatic so they can be interpreted as guidelines to understanding your own truth.
The book covers many different aspects of our existence and is not limited to just knowledge, but also hands you some tools to get started with your own spiritual integration so to say. In this post I will go over some of the most important aspects that are thoroughly described in the book. What made it special to me is that I didn’t feel like I was being introduced to a radical new idea, but rather that my current knowledge was being expanded and that things started to make more sense than ever before.
Most of us will agree that we have a physical body or kino, but there is also an energy body which doesn’t appear as physical. This is not a matter of opinion, because science has proven its existence by taking pictures with specific filters to show a certain kind of aura around living things. This is what the Kahuna’s call the aka body through which energy can flow. This life energy is what they call mana. Then there is the mind which is not the same as the brain. The mind consists of a subconscious, conscious and superconscious part, named respectively ku, lono, and aumakua.
The reason why I use the Huna terminology for these aspects is because their existence and purpose can be explained through the root meanings of the Huna language. For example the conscious mind (lono) has its root in the word lo which means ‘to achieve’ and aka (energy or astral body) means ‘transparant’, ‘reflection’ or ‘essence’. I won’t elaborate much on this further, but it’s interesting to realize that the names that were given to the different aspects of our existence collaborate with the root meanings of that ancient language. Even more interesting is that the roots of the language can be traced to other ancient civilizations around the world.
So let’s get started with the most important part: The mind. It’s interesting to note that the Huna philosophy is not so different from the ideas of big Western philosophers like Freud and Jung. There are definitely differences, but there are also similarities. For example, both Freud and the Kahuna’s believe that our complexes are rooted in the subconscious part of the mind and are also largely responsible for undesired behaviour. However, Freud thought that this part of the mind was to be controlled, whereas the Kahuna’s believe that it’s only a matter of reprogramming our behavioral patterns and corresponding beliefs.
The Subconscious Mind
The most important function of the subconscious mind is memory. This is also the reason why all our automatic behaviour is rooted in the subconscious mind, because that’s where it’s stored. Because the subconscious mind is logical in nature and all our experiences with corresponding sensations are recorded, it means that a good part of our automated behaviour can be traced back to past experiences. Especially at a very young age we’re susceptible to subconscious programming, because we lack the decision making power of the conscious mind to change our way of thinking. As a result these years are often at the basis of many mind patterns and can be hard to change, because we tend to subconsciously identify with them.
It is when we start to establish a good communication with our subconscious mind that we get a much better understanding of our behavioral and thinking patterns, from which we can start to consciously reprogram the mind. It is for this reason that the Kahuna’s believe that the subconscious mind should be lovingly treated as a child who needs to be trained and desires direction from the conscious mind. When there is no direction it will switch to its automatic pilot, becoming a product of its environment in the process.
The subconscious mind is also the part where all our emotions come from. This is why we can experience the intensity of past situations when we think back of them, because the emotions are anchored to the memory itself within the subconscious mind. This knowledge is also very important to NLP practitioners, because emotions create the strongest anchors inside the mind. In the game of seduction it’s well known that when we establish physical contact during an emotional moment the memory will be much more powerful.
There is so much more to be said about the subconscious mind, but for the sake of this article the most important function to understand is that of memory. We can utilize the subconscious to remember pretty much everything as long as we have the focus and awareness to dig deep enough. Other than that the subconscious also plays a large role in our perception of dreams. It’s definitely a good idea to write down your dreams, because you might learn something useful about yourself.
The Conscious Mind
The conscious mind is a lot more simple in nature than the subconscious. It only exists in the here and now and is rational in nature. That means that the conscious mind is not emotional by definition and it is the only part of our mind that has the ability to make decisions. Some people think that the strength of our conscious mind is determined by willpower, but that is not the case. Every person has willpower and everyone has the ability to make decisions. There is only a problem when the automatic urges of the subconscious mind start to overrule the direction of the conscious mind.
To avoid this we need to establish a healthy relationship with the subconscious mind. What I mean with that is that simply suppressing our subconscious tendencies is not the key to self mastery, because it creates stress, unhappiness and only works temporary. What you resist persists and for that matter these tendencies will only grow in power, because the subconscious doesn’t want to be ignored. When we establish a good communication we can understand these tendencies and where they come from. Knowledge is power and from that point we can start to reprogram our beliefs by taking on a conscious attitude until it becomes a habit and part of our subconscious behaviour.
It makes me think of a scene in a series that I was watching in which there were some people going to a group therapy. When the group leader asked who had come to improve themselves to become better persons almost everybody raised their hands. And then he said something interesting, because that is the first mistake we make. In order to change and improve, we have to start by accepting ourselves as we are and to realize we’re perfect already. Self-hatred is what stands in the way of change and so it’s never a matter of willpower whether you’re going to be able to follow up on your decisions, but rather of reprogramming starting with self-love.
The Superconscious Mind (High Self)
This part of the mind is harder to define than the others. The Huna word for superconscious is aumakua which means something like ‘guide’. The superconscious is not a seperate entity, but more like our most inner being; the essence of who we are as individuals. When we give direction to our lives with the conscious mind it’s the superconscious that will invoke us with inspiration and a sense of purpose. Our feelings of intuition for example are coming from the superconscious mind.
When we learn to connect with this part of ourselves we can ask for advice or guidance. This may sound strange, because it sounds as if I’m referring to an entity outside of ourselves. I think the best way to explain it would be to say that the superconscious mind transcends the domain of the subconscious and conscious part of the mind. It is the part of us that’s bigger than this life alone and for that reason it gets complicated when people don’t believe that they don’t exist beyond their current state of consciousness. However, it doesn’t change the aspects of guidance, inspiration and intuition.
The Kahuna’s also believe that the superconscious minds or High Selves are all in contact with each other and can form a collective mind. This idea is not new in Western psychology, because Jung actually came up with a theory that involved ancestral memory. The reason for that was that during his research he found that people (who had nothing to do with each other) often dreamt in the same symbolism. This created the idea of archetypes, which is like a universal code through which we perceive reality and communicate.
The Aka Body
The aka body or astral body is at the foundation of our physical manifestation. Scientists have been able to take pictures of the astral body by using specific lenses. I went to a seminar one time where a scientist showed pictures he had made of half torn leaves which clearly showed a bright spectral body on the places where the leaf was torn apart. He did the same experiment with people who had lost their limbs and quite remarkably they were actually able to feel their missing bodyparts during a trance-like state.
One way to explain the aka body is to compare it to a computer. The circuit boards, fuses and transistors create a structure through which the machine can operate, but the actual data is stored in electromagnatic fields. In that sense you could say that our aka body is an electromagnetic field that surrounds and penetrates our physical bodies.
Mana (Life Energy)
Yet more terminology that may raise eyebrows, yet also this has been a matter of extensive research throughout Western modern times. There are many words for this energy such as prana, chi and ki, but also Freud who called it libido. The reason why I’m mentioning this is because it’s one of the keys to self-mastery. The amount of life energy that we generate determines everything inside and outside of ourselves; how we feel, whether we’re healthy, how easily we can accomplish our goals, our levels of confidence and also how attractive we are to the opposite sex.
Another interesting point is that complexes often cause a block in the flow of energy. Wilhelm Reich, a former student of Freud, conducted research on neurotic persons and discovered that certain muscle groups were chronically tensed. Using techniques to relax these muscles the patients experienced a release of energy followed by a flow that they felt throughout their entire body. Similar to electrical current, this was their experience of mana or life energy. So in order to be happy and healthy we need to make sure that our energy can freely move through our body by getting rid of complexes.
Increasing mana is one of the most important things we can do to change the quality of our lives. The more energy we have the more we can achieve and the happier and healthier we feel. Generating energy can be done in various ways whether it is through healthy food, deep breathing, proper sleep or mental attitude. Of course you’ll want to have a combination of all of those factors to get maximum results. There’s nothing as attractive as life itself, so even if you don’t believe in all of this there’s plenty of reason for you womanizers out there to increase your energy.
Then again to prove my point you can go and check the web for guys like Anthony Robbins and other motivational speakers and you’ll see that every single one of them will give you advice that comes down to one thing: Increase your energy to improve your life. In the end you don’t need to believe in metaphysics and mysticism to be able to apply ancient old techniques and get results.
There are different ways to address issues within the subconscious, increase energy or establish a connection with the superconscious mind. One of the things I found interesting is that when we meditate and use our imagination to picture a forest for example, that it is our subconscious mind that will automatically fill in pretty much every detail of our imagination. We can consciously choose what we want to picture, but the picture itself is one big projection of our subconscious mind.
This is very helpful and interesting, because it means that we can gain a better understanding of our own mind by using the power of imagination to turn complexes into vivid images. At this point the complexes become much more tangible and we can use the conscious mind to fix it in whatever way we feel like. To make this more clear, one of the exercises that I learned from the book was to imagine my own garden and just walk around to observe what my subconscious mind had created. This makes introspection a lot easier and at the same time you have the opportunity to find the root of problems (literally!).
Also meditating and imagining radiating light can be a very powerful way to increase energy. Specific colours immediately have an effect on our state of mind as well. Deep breathing is a great tool to calm the mind down and increase energy. These are just examples, but honestly the sky is the limit. What’s nice about the pragmatic approach is that you can do whatever works for you. We have strong intuitive powers and often we have a very clear idea of what is good for us and what not.
From everything I’ve written down it’s barely the tip of the iceberg and if this catches your interest then I’d definitely recommend this book. It’s one of those books that you read more than once and I wouldn’t advice to read more than a chapter a day, because the information is simple yet deep and needs some time to settle down in the mind. Other than that there are of course many ways that lead to Rome and this one is not better nor worse than any other. At the end of the day we all want the same things and how we go on about that is an individual choice.
Most important is that we do make that choice and follow up on our decisions. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but rather through constant effort by taking small steps at a time consistently. What definitely intrigues me is that such an ancient and isolated civilization had such profound knowledge regarding our existence and even better that slowly these ideas are starting to get more support by modern scientists.
Everything is temporary, especially relationships with other people. As fast as you can establish a relationship with someone, it can also break up just as quickly, and eventually it will, because nobody lives forever and we’re constantly changing and developing. There is profound beauty in this, because it forces you to make the best out of it with the time you have. The key is to not take it for granted, but be grateful instead for every moment you share together.
Easier said than done I suppose. The idea that we have someone for ourselves can make us complacent, and that’s how a beautiful and passionate affair can turn into a dreadful and boring relationship that ends with tears, confusion, and perhaps even anger. The reason why I’m writing about this is because I’ve been through a very valuable experience lately that gave me numerous insights regarding these delicate topics. Nobody likes a bad break up, because it’s not love that hurts, but rather our inability to deal with our own emtions and feelings, let alone those of other people involved.
For your information, I recently ended my relationship with the girl who was the first I made love to. We were together for well over 2 years, and we finally admitted that this is for the best. I’ll save you the details, because we went through a climax of drama, after which we found and let go of each other again in love and compassion. One important aspect of a relationship is that it has to be practical, no matter how much love there may be. Love can definitely be a good motivation to make it practical, but at the same time you have to pursue your own dreams, and not live for someone else.
The way I see it is that relationships are about sharing your life together, and this is what separates lovers from partners; a good partner is a good lover, but a good lover is not always a good partner. A good partner is someone who adds something to you that will push you further forward in the direction you want to develop. Of course this should be mutual. They call it “bringing up the best in each other”. I found myself in a relationship that wasn’t working, even though we were (and still are) the best of lovers. It definitely did work for a while, but things change, and you have to adapt if you want to move forward.
It’s often hard to admit that a relationship isn’t working, because you’re emotionally attached to it. You love this person and don’t want to feel like you’re losing something precious from your life. However, people are solely responsible for their actions, and to think that you have someone’s exclusive love, that you have someone for yourself, is an illusion. One chooses to be with someone, until a new choice is made and that person moves on to someone else. This is the way of life and I think it’s beautiful, because there’s a lot to be learned from experiencing different people.
That doesn’t mean I would approve of fleeing difficult situations for the sake of avoiding confrontation with yourself, because that’s something that can only serve to delay the inevitable and hold you back in your progress as a human being. Important is open and honest communication, towards each other but also definitely towards yourself; you can’t be honest with other people if you can’t be honest with yourself. In business and politics bullshitting has a purpose (and even that’s debatable), but in any other situation it’s just silly. When you can talk about your feelings and emotions, and rationalize like mature people, that’s when you can make proper decisions that will be beneficial to everyone.
I love my little girl, and why wouldn’t I? We’ve been very beneficial to one another, but now it was time to move on before the complications of our relationship started to cast a shadow over the beauty of what we have together. Real beauty is timeless and eternal, and cannot be grasped or explained; it just is, and you can enjoy it for being there. She will always be part of me in the same way that I’ll always be part of her. I feel free now, not because I’m single, but because I’ve let her go and accepted the fact of matter. There is no more underlying pain, and any tears that I shed now and then are of the good kind; those of gratefulness. If we wouldn’t have taken time to get together in order to let go, then the situation right now would’ve been completely different.
I can imagine that this may be hard at times. Emotions can rise to the point that we’re forgetting about our compassionate nature, and instead engulf ourselves in feelings of anger, fear, and guilt. A natural reaction is to flee these feelings by banishing the person that’s triggering those feelings out of our lives. A picture comes to mind of people burning pictures of their loved ones. Is that love? Sometimes these experiences may be so traumatizing that people close their hearts and miss out on life in the process. It’s a big shame really.
What I find interesting about being so heavily confronted with a failing relationship is that it forced me to take a hard look at my own part in it. People are often quick to blame the other person, which was also definitely part of my initial reaction, but soon I discovered that I was also just getting a return on the things that I was doing. There are valuable lessons to be learned from these insights, because what you give really determines what you’re gonna get back; you deserve what you get, and there’s nothing more disempowering than playing the victim.
Especially in relationships, which can be very emotional experiences as we all know, it is very important to rationalize your choices and decisions. Love and commitment are two sides of the same coin, and no relationship can work without either of them. At the end of the day I believe that love can be found anywhere, because it’s present everywhere, so regarding relationships it’s important to have a good partner and not just a good lover. To know who you are is to know what you want, and this will make your search a lot easier, because you’ll consciously attract what you’re looking for.
I now find myself in the situation of being single with a very clear idea of what I’m looking for. I know that time is short, so there’s no room for delaying the best decision to make. In fact it would be beneficial to always be aware of that. So for all of you with broken hearts: Do not hestitate to look for closure, and be loving, compassionate, and forgiving to each other. At the end of the day we’re all just people looking for happiness and fulfilment, so it’s always possible to find a proper goodbye, because nobody likes to be carrying around emotional baggage. The key lies in the way how you communicate; at any moment in time you can change any situation.